Navy Wife Blog

Yes, it's been a long long time since I blogged here. First my laptop crashed and then I finally get it up and barely running and now the screen keeps going black and blue. Oh no....it's been crazy. I am trying to get a quick entry in now before the screen goes out again, this is my third time trying tonight.

So let's recap the last month or 2. James is deployed again. But should be back next month...hopefully. Savanah is about to graduate 4th grade and move on to Junior High....yes I said Junior High. 5,6,7,and 8th grade are junior hight here in her district. Crazy right. Well she is super stoked. I am super nervous!

Also, I am preparing for Gastric Bypass surgery soon. I have been having some health issues and decided this is what was best for me. After much consideration and many many health exams with different specialists, I am almost there. Were are hopefully looking towards July sometime for my actual surgery date. This is a big deal. I have been considering this for about 3 years now and after much research and thought, I made my decision.

It is NOT an easy fix like most of you think. It requires a lot of hard work. It is not a miracle cure all fat either. It is a tool that will help me limit the amount I can eat. It does not last forever, and my pouch can stretch back out over time. I have about a year to exercise my ass off and limit my food intake and have this tool help me. Food has been my best friend through every single duty night and deployment. It is always there for me and never lets me down. I still have to deal with my food issues, and will always deal with them.

For those of you who are praying people, please keep me in your prayers. I will try and update soon. Blessings!

I feel worse taking this medicine than without. Then the doctor's office called me back today to tell me that my tests came back and they figured out why my white blood cells were so high. I have a nasty kidney infection. I mean come on...can't a girl get a break. It does explain a lot though. But not, it means more medicine and another visit to the hospital. ARGH! I feel so worn down and so achy and tired.

James went to go get Savanah from school and I am about to go lay down for a few. I am so far behind on everything. I am sorry if you are someone waiting for me to do something I said I would, I am wiped out. I need to fight this infection and get better then, I will get it together I promise.

I had to push Savanah's book fair forschool back, as I only have 2 part time volunteer's I can NOT do it right now. The school was kinda pissy about it, as usual. Oh well.

O.K. I really got to go lay down.

So I went to my new P.C.M. today. It was an all right visit, not overly good but not horrible. The doctor was pretty nice and this one nurse was nice, but the receptionists SUCKED ASS. They were rude and had attitudes. But I did get a bunch of test done and I have a really bad bladder infection and they are sending my sample out to the lab because the Doctor said there was a high number of white blood cells in my urine and that is not good. I got 4 prescriptions and I got MY REFERRAL for the Gastric Bypass surgery! WHOO HOO! I am so excited and SO NERVOUS. I got for my orientation with the Bariatric surgeon Saturday. I will still have a bunch of test to do but hopefully they will go smoothly. My blood pressure was high but that will go down with weight loss. The doctor said that they will call me in about a week to let me know what my insurances says. So fingers crossed!

I just feel so weak and tired right now. I hate taking antibiotics they always upset my stomach and make me tired and weak. But if they get this infection out of my body then I am just gonna take them. I am about lay down and try to get some rest. Hope everyone is doing all right.

Just a quick entry today....James came home last night but has duty Sunday so today is our only "day together" for a while. We will see him again Monday late afternoon. Instead of trying to fit a bunch of stuff into the one day, we decided to just hang out around the house and get some things done. Nothing too big, just puttering basically.

Savanah woke up on the WRONG side of the bed today. She is in a rare form today. Miss Attitude! I just made her go take a nap and hopefully that will get her attitude adjusted. I have a sleep hangover today. I went so long with no sleep and I took a pill last night and with James being home.....I was knocked out and we did not get up until after noon time.....we are grilling out again tonight, so I am about to go get some food prepped.

So I found what I hope to be a really great PCM and I have my first appointment with them on Tuesday at 10. I am actually so excited it's ridiculous! I think they will be pretty good with because I found him on the WLS I joined and when I called the office, they were pretty cool with me and told me that the Doctor does quite a few PRE- Gastric pre ops and everyday treatment.

James comes home sometime tomorrow afternoon sometime. I will be sitting him down and talking to him about my decision. Wish me luck! My mind is made up though, so basically I am just going to have to get him to support me in this. I think I will grill him a steak or something first!

We have about 3 weeks before James Leaves for deployment, so I won't be around here much. I will try to update but no promises! Wishing everyone a great weekend!

Yes, I know it's been a few days since my last post. But, like I said before, when James is gone I am thrown back into single parent mode. There is more to do in what seems to be less time. James is not one of those men that are not plugged in. He is a VERY involved Daddy and he is all about Vanna when he is home. Not to mention that he takes on some of my most disliked household chores like Laundry, Trash, and Dishes! We thought he might be home a day early but, unfortunately he won't. I have not really slept more than an hour or 2 a night since he has been gone. I normally don't get past this stage until after the first month of a deployment so these little underways...means I am a tired lady!

Now, onto another subject. A more serious subject. For those of you who know me in real life know that I have been struggling with my weight for the past 6 years. I was diagnosed with PCOS about the same time I started having weight problems. Over the past 6 years my weight has continues to climb and climb. I have tried diet after diet and I can lose weight but have never been able to get past the 35 lb. mark. I am sick and tired of being FAT. It is NOT ME. I am tired of people treating me differently and I am tired of feeling like a lepard. EVERYONE under the sun has their own "opinions" and "advice" for me. THANKS....like I did not know my ass is FAT! Let me just say there is NOT a single bit of their so called "advice" or their "knowledge" that I did not already know. And by them shoving it on me time and time again really offends me and PISSES ME OFF!

I have finally just had ENOUGH. And I have made the decision to have GASTRIC BYPASS surgery. I have thought about it for a Long time, so it's not something that happened overnight. I know it is NOT a fast easy fix like some of you may think. It is painful and requires a lot of work on my part. I know the risks, and I know that being morbidly obese has greater risks. But more than anything I am tired of being trapped in this blob known as my body. I am tired of the stares and the snickers from people. I am tired of not being able to physically do the things I want to do with my family. And I am tired to death with people pressuring me to do things that I CAN'T even AFTER I explain to them. I mean do people really thing they are helping by always trying to force me into things. And get a clue, it's not that I don't WANT to do them, I CAN NOT. There is a HUGE difference. I want to be HEALTHY and active again and I want to be able to participate with my family and friends. I want to be able to travel and to not have all this anxiety and depression anymore. I want to be able to shop in a regular store for regular clothes. I want to be able to be healthy enough to get pregnant and expand our family. I want to LIVE again! Because right now I am simply existing.

So, I have found several doctors in my area that I want to meet and go over the details. I have a few questions and concerns. I need to get a referral from my PCM, which I need to get, and then do some lab work, and a Psych evaluation to make sure I am sane enough to make this decision. And then I can schedule my surgery. I talked to James about this before and he was dead set against it, but I have to do this for ME. He will have to come to terms with the situation and get on board. I have stood by him through EVERYTHING. I am always his biggest cheerleader and the ONLY one that backs him up, He owes me this.

So wish me luck and say a prayer. I am hoping to get this all done asap. I have let this weight to bog me down too long already. I am READY!

Savanah is still running a fever and not feeling well at all. I absolutely hate when she is sick. I feel so helpless. My poor baby literally slept 20 of the 24 hours yesterday. And the other 4 she was puking. I was up with her until 5:30 this morning holding her hair while she tossed her cookies. My poor baby. She kept crying and asking for Daddy. It broke my heart. Needless to say we are pretty worn out around here. I am running on fumes today again. I need to really get a jump on housework and chores. I swear somehow we have about 10 loads of laundry. I was unaware that my darling husband left a big mess of clothes, uniforms, towels and other unknowns to be washed before he left. Not to mention that he basically threw all of the odds and ends from around the house, straight into the laundry room in big piles. I am a bit aggravated to say the least. He has his work papers and books all over and I have no clue what he wants to do with it all. ARGH! I just switched loads and we have 9 loads to go!

My to do list for the upcoming week is-

1- Get caught up on Laundry.....yeah right....it never ends
2- Scrub down the walls downstairs and up....possibly
3- Deep clean the carpets.....hmmmmm....we'll see
4- Reorganize my closet and purge outdated/outgrown clothes...likely
5- Rearrange my bedroom and down stairs....getting bored
6- Do a bit a grocery shopping...oh how I hate grocery shopping....
7- Make a menu and shopping list.....will happen
8- Scrub the bathrooms down....deeeeeeep clean and purge overstock of bath products, change shower curtain, finally decorate 1/2 bath....possibly
9- Clean garage....ha ha I made a funny.....
10- Wash the car and detail inside......lol there I go again being funny
11- Wash the windows inside and out....if I can figure out how to wash the outside of the second story windows....it's driving me crazy!
12- Find Savanah a good orthodontist....will happen
13- Get together my next GIVEAWAY....will happen
14- Organize my recipes....this is ongoing process
15- Get together a huge box of scrapbook stuff for payment for helping me with this site....will happen
16- Get some baking done....depends on mood

So lets see....I have only really committed to 4 things....ha ha. And I am sure there will be about 57 more things added to the list as we go. Then of course there are the PTA things that need to get done also. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH. I have a headache now. lol

I hope everyone is having a great weekend and I promise when I have some free "ME" time I will work on the site some more. Don't give up on me yet! I just don't have all day to sit around on my ass and stare into the cpu....not yet at least...but hopefully soon a housework fairy will come down and POOF* do all my chores!

My poor baby Savanah is so sick. I think it is a virus or something equally as awful. We have had such a busy week. This next month is so overbooked for us. Just thinking about it all makes my head spin. I have so much to do with PTA and I am so dreading it. I am over the PTA right about now. I have been drained and I no longer feel like I want to have anything to do with it. It's just too much.

And with James being gone and then getting ready for the next deployment...I am once again back to single motherhood. When James is home he really helps me around the house and with all the day to day things. He helps way more than the average man. And when he is home we just feel at ease. It does not seem like home without James, we are missing a very important part of who we are when he is gone. We are just incomplete without him here! But we are a team, and family and we WILL get through this like all the other ones before. We will add this to the list of things we survived. We will go on with life when he leaves and act like we are 10 feet tall when someone asks how things are. I will once again handle everything alone and make sure James get's lots of care packages and letters while gone. I will run on fumes for sleep, stake out the computer 24-7 for days at a time when he first leaves...just hoping for an email that is no more than a few sentences feverishly typed by James between watches. Then Savanah and I will settle into a routine, and get back to doing things our way also know as the Deployment way. We will become accustom to just the 2 of us and make our own schedule. We will continue to count the day until James comes home, and plan according around his duty schedule when he returns.

And in the end things will slowly fit back into place and then just when it get's somewhat back to normal....the process starts all over again!

This is REAL LIFE stuff kids. This is the Navy Life that we CHOSE to live.